To really, love a woman...

"Except, perhaps Beranhond, I'm not sure he would know what do to with a woman." Darvin said.

Oh, really.  Beranhond thought and chuckling a bit. It is just as well that he thinks that, and in all honesty it was quite well crafted humor. Beranhond thought guiltily. Most Paladin's and Clerics are not meant to enjoy carnal pleasures, but he thought, I am not sure what Narath's stance is on coitus. After a moments reflection he decided that after that mornings interactions he was positive that Narath wanted Beranhond to have nothing to do with women and decided that he would respect those wishes. At Darvin's words, Beranhond drifted off into the realms of his mind, and of his experience with women, or at least with one woman.


flashback alert... 


The feast of Sturzzin snuck up on no one - everyone awaited it eagerly as it arrived quite rarely. It was always be preceded by a three day period of fasting and introspection followed by parties and feasts of special significance. As a result, their instructors gave them four days off. The novice's, quite unused to such an allotment of time, used their days off to travel, catch up on sleep, or to visit home for a unheard of visit. Their instructors would undoubtedly expect more piety in the future, but it was forgiven for their youth. Ceilith and Beranhond had used the first day two days to explore the surrounding town and were using the last day before the feast to have a picnic in the surrounding countryside.
"Where did you get all of this food?" He asked her looking at the remarkable spread on their blanket.
"That is my secret." She said, lying on her back with her eyes shut, enjoying the light of the sun and the cloudless sky. She was beautiful and on such a day all the feelings that Beranhond had had, and not had, for years grew to an oddly unchecked level. Though they were trained in asceticism, piety, and nobility, love and lust still simmered in their minds. Especially when they were somewhat encouraged by the other party.
They spoke idle banter, his eyes locked on her, when she sat up and looked at him.
"Beranhond..." her hands reached towards him.
"Yes...?" He said nervously, but before he could finish she leaned in and kissed him. Her arms wrapping around his back and pulling him close. His hands took her side.
After a moment, she let go.

"I have been wanting to do that for sometime..."

"I as well."

"I thought this would be my last chance..." She leaned forward and layed him on his back.
I think perchance, that this is not the forum to describe such an encounter. Indeed, neither Ceilith or Beranhond, nor their instructors would be pleased if any heard the description. Thus, for the sake of the wellbeing of the Paladin's of Torm, we shall skip it.

Ceilith lay, again fully clothed and her face flushed, looked at Beranhond. "I am being accelerated. On the feast day I go on the quest." Acceleration often happened for those that the instructors and council decided had special faith or had seen visions. They took the final test of faith early and received the rest of their training in the field. This was not unexpected, but Beranhond's heart still fell. The day had already taken such drastic turns that he should have been ready, but he turned away and looked into the distance.

"Run away with me..., let us run together and actually have a life."

"But we both have a life Eth. We are both dutiful servants of Torm and we are both going to be very successful." She put her hand on his shoulder and turned him to face her. "You have done such wonders in magic and lore, and I know you will be great when you take the final test." She caressed his face and kissed him on the forehead. "They have told me that if I pass I will be assisting in a special mission of great significance. I think it is the one that Torm told me before." She pulled her hands away and reached upwards, her eyes shut in excitement.

"But, Ceilith, there is no future for you in that. There is no love in Torm's world, there is no true life in this. Don't you feel like a cog in a machine? Torm can be such a narrow God, let us go and find life's meaning together rather than just being told that meaning is derived from goodness alone."

At that, Ceilith's face drew dark. "Meaning is derived from faith Eth, you know that. Our lives are meant to be in service to Torm."
"Service! There must be more than just dutifuly following the order of our heirarchs in the name of God. I cannot feel his presence I cannot feel any depth of belief towards this Torm. Don't you see that what we are being told are simply the rapackaged lessons of servitude? The way the teachers talk about other faiths seems to suggest that they simply didn't get the right message." He took a deep breath. "But, our lives must be more than just service to some distant God especially when the message they bring is such a pedantic one. A God is supposed to help bring understanding and revelation - but not through repetition and hostile messages of order and civilization .Where is the diversity, where is the pluralism, where is the truth?" As he ranted on, revealing at last his feelings towards Torm, Ceilith's face grew darker and darker.
"Eth, I care for you deeply, but I don't think you care for me as much as you think you do. I am worried about your faith and I think you are using me to cover that." She stood and pointed at him. "This isn't you! You have never wanted an idle life of domestic bliss. Search your feelings. Don't throw away a promising career just because you have hardened your heart to Torm." At that she stood and started walking away.
Beranhond sat numb, in a fraction of a moment he had gone from sublime bliss to a crashing reality. Though it had hurt, he knew in his mind that she spoke the truth - Ceilith had had his love, but it was not a true love, nor was it all that deep. For some time it had been fading in and out and perhaps it was all the better that it had ended so suddenly. Though, oddly enough, she herself had shown him that his path might not lay with Torm.