Of comfort, no man speak

Talathel left Beranhund at the gates. He felt the need to be...well, not alone. He knew he didn't want to be alone. But he wanted different companionship. He wanted...

He wasn't sure. The old Talathel would probably be seeking rum or ale. He would have gladly chased happiness at the bottom of a flagon. That had never got him anywhere. Over the past...how long had it been? It wasn't as if he'd abstained from alcohol. But, he didn't seek it out either.

Baldur's Gate hadn't seemed to change since he'd last been there. The buildings looked the same. There were people, even at this hour, going from place to place. He heard a song from an alehouse. It was all so familiar. And yet, not so.

He reflected on his adventures. He had walked around Faerun. He had visited a Dream Plane. He had communed, albeit briefly, with his god, his god that he had thought was probably dead or lost forever.

He knew too much of the world, he decided. The elves that stayed on the Moonshae Isle, now they had it right. They were blissfully unaware of how cruel and unforgiving everything actually was. Leaving one's bubble had it's advantages sure, but suddenly feeling the weight of everything aged him. He stood in the middle of the street and put his weight on his staff.

Maybe being around the cleric wouldn't have been such a bad idea. But that damned cat...

He found his way to Millway's. He recalled, a brief smile on his lips, Lailsan. That may have been the time, in all of this, that he had felt most alive. To find someone, anyone, in this stupid world was the only thing you can ask for, and he had chosen the world over her.

"You owe me," he said, to no one and everyone.

The world responded with silence, as it usually did.

If he hadn't actually spoken to him, he'd swear right now that Kaleal was dead, and the rest of the gods too. Maybe he had just dreamt that.

It occurred to Talathel that he didn't actually know what had happened to Lailsan. He laughed, actually laughed, the sort of laugh gives when cosmic absurdity is revealed to them and them alone. It was a laugh full of regret and contempt.

He moved on from Millway's. He found his way to the docks. He saw the Lady Nareth. Even in the dark, he could tell it still needed work. That ship would probably be the death of him. He walked towards it. He remembered being in the crow's nest with Lailsan. He remembered being at peace there. He boarded the ship and climbed back up to it.

There was no comfort this time, his only companion were the mocking thoughts of the life he could have had. No sense worrying about that though, his decisions had been made. He said a brief prayer for Lailsan, wherever she might be. He hoped that there was still some sort of god out there that might hear it, but his prayer was faithless. He closed his eyes to meditate, and then soon afterwards, allowed himself to sleep.